When you think of the people you most admire, you think of successful and happy people. Ever wonder how they became so successful? How did they become so happy in the process of their lives? Bit by bit, I find myself taking these heroes apart–what attributes do these people have that bring them this fulfillment?

I’ve found five traits that all of my role models carry. Five traits we can all work to possess:

1. Listen More. You’ve probably heard this idea a million times. But did you “listen”? It’s easy to start talking about ourselves. The most annoying people I can think of never stop talking about themselves. You can learn more about the world and about people by listening to them.

2. Ask Questions More. The smartest people know how to keep others talking and teaching. By asking questions, people feel appreciated. You’re listening to their ideas. How many times do you start talking at the same time as someone else? In these situations, I’m trying to stop talking. People are more interested in telling you their little stories than hearing yours.

3. Smile More. Think of old men–the one kissing a girl’s hand, winking, and smiling draws your attention more than the grumpy guy with a frown and bad attitude. Ever wonder if each person is destined to mold into one of those two guys, depending upon the choices we make? Question the perspective you have. Sure it’s snowing outside my window right now and the roads will be icy and crowded. But isn’t spring on its way? I’ll get to listen to more of my audiobook on a long car drive. More snow means a longer ski season… see what I’m getting at?

4. Hold the Door More. My boss has a thing about always being the first through the doorway. He won’t stop to let anyone including a woman or his wife go before him. He probably doesn’t notice this trait in himself, though everyone else does. Watch how you act for a moment. Do you cut others off so that you can go first for everything? Will you pick up someone’s pen if he drops it? Going the extra bit adds charm. And even if no one notices this added charm, it’s better than people noting your lack-there-of.

5. Believe in You More. The trend with people online is that we often don’t show great self-esteem to others. We know we’re good at things. Yet we’re so humble. When you tell people what you do, what your $$ strategy is, and what you want to accomplish, you have to be proud. Don’t mumble about being the secretary for a horrible boss. Think of how you can spice your description up more. I think of it as an interview. To get the best job, you have to express the positive experiences you have had in the past. So why not practice that passion right now?