The essays by Paul Graham often come up in my family. Graham made millions when his team sold their programming work, Viaweb, to Yahoo for millions. But the knowledge Graham shares goes beyond programming.

He’s got a lot of social wisdom. My favorite is his article, Why Nerds are Unpopular.

Here’s an excerpt:

The main reason nerds are unpopular is that they have other things to think about. Their attention is drawn to books or the natural world, not fashions and parties. They’re like someone trying to play soccer while balancing a glass of water on his head. Other players who can focus their whole attention on the game beat them effortlessly, and wonder why they seem so incapable.

Even if nerds cared as much as other kids about popularity, being popular would be more work for them. The popular kids learned to be popular, and to want to be popular, the same way the nerds learned to be smart, and to want to be smart: from their parents. While the nerds were being trained to get the right answers, the popular kids were being trained to please.

Jeffrey Strain at TheStreet.com pretty much sums up the reason most people don’t have wealth: it’s not because we don’t make enough money; it’s because we don’t treat money on a day-to-day basis very well. Check out the ten poor habits he’s narrowed down as our reasons for low wealth:

1. You Care What Your Neighbors Think: If you’re competing against them and their material possessions, you’re wasting your hard-earned money on toys to impress them instead of building your wealth.

2. You Aren’t Patient: Until the era of credit cards, it was difficult to spend more than you had. That is not the case today. If you have credit card debt because you couldn’t wait until you had enough money to purchase something in cash, you are making others wealthy while keeping yourself in debt.

3. You Have Bad Habits: Whether it’s smoking, drinking, gambling or some other bad habit, the habit is using up a lot of money that could go toward building wealth. Most people don’t realize that the cost of their bad habits extends far beyond the immediate cost. Take smoking, for example: It costs a lot more than the pack of cigarettes purchased. It also negatively affects your wealth in the form of higher insurance rates and decreased value of your home.

(for descriptions of the following, check out his complete article)

4. You Have No Goals
5. You Haven’t Prepared
6. You Try to Make a Quick Buck
7. You Rely on Others to Take Care of Your Money
8. You Invest in Things You Don’t Understand
9. You’re Financially Afraid
10. You Ignore Your Finances

As the cold weather starts to set in, I thought we could all use a few chuckles today. I’m currently reading “The Warren Buffet Way” and got a kick out of this paragraph (pg 89):

Buying an underwear maker [Fruit of the Loom] creates lots of opportunities for corny jokes, and Buffet, an accomplished punster, made the most of it. At the 2002 shareholders meeting, when asked the obvious question, he teased the audience with a half answer: “When I wear underwear at all, which I rarely do…” Leaving the crowd to decide for themselves whether it’s boxers or briefs for Buffett. He pointed out why there’s “a favorable bottom line” in underwear: “It’s an elastic market.” Finally, he deadpanned, Charlie Munger had given him an additional reason to buy the company:

“For years Charlie has been telling me, ‘Warren, we have to get into women’s underwear.’ Charlie is 78. It’s now or never.”

I messed up this week.

It’s like I wasn’t hungry last week so I decided not to buy any groceries for this week either. Of course, now I’m starving. I’m angry that the cupboard is empty, and now I’m kicking myself. Why didn’t I think ahead last week? Why didn’t I buy anything to eat?

We make these dumb mistakes all the time. Instead of thinking about tomorrow, we neglect it. For example, every week that you put off investing $20,000 at 5%, you miss a gain of $84. (How long does it take you to earn $84 at work? Probably less than the time it would have taken to invest that money.)

The most ironic part of procrastination is the loss—inflation means you’re actually losing that money.

How many groceries could you buy with that?

If you and I want to play with the big dogs, we have to be thinking like them. They’re the people that are always a buck ahead, a step in the lead, and forever laughing at our lags… unless we change. In whatever financial avenue you’re hoping to strike it rich in, I’m making some adjustments in my strategy that you might want to consider, too.

1. Get networking—someone’s always going to know something before you. In my case, my husband is always hungry before I am, and he reminds me. Buddy up. And if you have to pay them a little to invest your money and sell your property, I still think it’s worth it.

2. Get your paperwork together—if you want a stock, have money ready to invest ASAP. If you’re buying a huge investment, establish pre-approval with a bank before the deal pops up. Update your income statements, cash flow statements, balance sheet, checkbook… you want to be ready to go by knowing what you have and showing others what you have, too.

3. Get persistent—don’t let one slip slow you. Yeah. I’m frustrated with myself. But pouting isn’t the solution. Better strategizing is.

4. Get ready to drop everything NOW—good deals disappear in minutes. You’ve seen how the stock market fluctuates throughout the day. Other markets do the same. Waiting until the time works for you doesn’t work when you want a deal…tomorrow…next week…

Some people obsessed with Cramer on “Mad Money” dump all of their money into each stock he recommends that day. The stock price shoots up because everyone has the same strategy. These people don’t make money, of course. They’re buying groceries after their stomaches grumbled.

Meanwhile, the prompt grocery shoppers who bought Kramer’s suggestions before Kramer suggested them are getting good and fat. They’re stuffing their faces and smirking at every starving stock shopper.

Wouldn’t you prefer to pick out your own dinner tonight?

Can you measure your life beyond your net worth? I’ll be the first to admit that a lot of my transactions revolve around a mental note of how much wealth I want. But what’s the point of more money in your life?

I spent the last week in a hospice in Germany where my husband’s grandmother taught me some great life lessons in her final moments.

1. What’s the point of money if it doesn’t grant you more opportunity and experiences?
My husband’s grandma grew up in Czechoslovakia under communism, which you probably know was a world of black market survival. People who had things to offer like food and medical care were in high demand. You could skip a few bread lines and police punishments if you had something to bribe with. In communism, money meant higher survival. It also meant a chance to escape to the west. Use the resources you are given to create a better life for yourself and others. Don’t steal from the poor; enrich lives.

2. Don’t work for money; let it work for you. Have a reason for wanting money besides just wanting money. After establishing themselves in the west, my husband’s grandparents started with nothing and worked hard to establish a good life. Use money to spoil your guests with the best ice cream, get a good education, own a computer capable of meeting your needs, and travel the world… and not just in five-start, English-speaking countries, for goodness sake!

3. Don’t let anyone else tell you what to do with your money.
Have you ever noticed how many “friends” people who win the lottery have all of a sudden? Everyone has an idea of where your money should go. Some people have your best interest in mind. Most people, of course, have themselves in mind. If you’re working hard with integrity, you have the right to spend your money as you see fit. You have to be smart about your spending and investing, of course. Yet something tells me that if you have worked your way to wealth, you’re going to be smart. Nonetheless…

4. Treat yourself when you’ve earned it, and save and save when you haven’t.
At first, you might think of Dairy Queen treats and French fries. Don’t forget the computers, cell phones, cars, and other fancy upgrades that you “need” and “want”. The media floods us with expectations. How many advertisements tell you that you deserve their product? They don’t even know you! They can’t say what you deserve and what you don’t. Resist the easy ability to dive into debt. It’s hard; you’ve got to try, though. Make smart choices. Live a good life.

When you think of the people you most admire, you think of successful and happy people. Ever wonder how they became so successful? How did they become so happy in the process of their lives? Bit by bit, I find myself taking these heroes apart–what attributes do these people have that bring them this fulfillment?

I’ve found five traits that all of my role models carry. Five traits we can all work to possess:

1. Listen More. You’ve probably heard this idea a million times. But did you “listen”? It’s easy to start talking about ourselves. The most annoying people I can think of never stop talking about themselves. You can learn more about the world and about people by listening to them.

2. Ask Questions More. The smartest people know how to keep others talking and teaching. By asking questions, people feel appreciated. You’re listening to their ideas. How many times do you start talking at the same time as someone else? In these situations, I’m trying to stop talking. People are more interested in telling you their little stories than hearing yours.

3. Smile More. Think of old men–the one kissing a girl’s hand, winking, and smiling draws your attention more than the grumpy guy with a frown and bad attitude. Ever wonder if each person is destined to mold into one of those two guys, depending upon the choices we make? Question the perspective you have. Sure it’s snowing outside my window right now and the roads will be icy and crowded. But isn’t spring on its way? I’ll get to listen to more of my audiobook on a long car drive. More snow means a longer ski season… see what I’m getting at?

4. Hold the Door More. My boss has a thing about always being the first through the doorway. He won’t stop to let anyone including a woman or his wife go before him. He probably doesn’t notice this trait in himself, though everyone else does. Watch how you act for a moment. Do you cut others off so that you can go first for everything? Will you pick up someone’s pen if he drops it? Going the extra bit adds charm. And even if no one notices this added charm, it’s better than people noting your lack-there-of.

5. Believe in You More. The trend with people online is that we often don’t show great self-esteem to others. We know we’re good at things. Yet we’re so humble. When you tell people what you do, what your $$ strategy is, and what you want to accomplish, you have to be proud. Don’t mumble about being the secretary for a horrible boss. Think of how you can spice your description up more. I think of it as an interview. To get the best job, you have to express the positive experiences you have had in the past. So why not practice that passion right now?

Last night, the musician screamed into his microphone, “45 seconds until the new year. Have you made your resolution?”

Did you spend any time reflecting on ways that you wanted to be better this year? Given 45 seconds, I didn’t come up with a foolproof improvement plan. Lucky for me, I have a database of favorite Aridni articles that I often look to for inspiration:

What does it really take to make money? This article guides you in defining and reaching your financial desires

Is it better to let your dreams die or do a poor job? Todd’s had an idea for about a year… but he lacks skill. What does he do? What do you do?

No longer the bride today I celebrated my one-year anniversary this summer and found a finance partner to boot for - I discovered a 5-step plan to seeking goals and reaching objectives.

Are you climbing to the top when there is no top? Before you can get somewhere tomorrow, you have to think of where you are today. Examine the corporate ladder at your office.

Make your success move from the polls to the ballot Women are starting new businesses twice as fast as men. Three success secrets revealed–

One month to impress Define your image in one month, step by step.

Today on Aridni we are going to introduce you to one of the key members of Aridni. We’ll be focusing on Todd.

Todd is currently attending the University of Montana in Missoula working towards a double major to receive degrees in Business Marketing and Business Management. Along the way Todd is also working towards a minor in Media Arts.

Todd has always had an entrepreneurial mind and business sense almost came second nature to him. Perhaps it is because as a child, he took on more ventures than most people even consider in their lives. Some were more successful, while others failed completely. Even though he is young, getting involved and passionate as a child continued as he aged and he now easily can adapt to changes in atmospheres and markets.

This article is hard to write about myself in the third person, so with that I’ll completely switch perspective if you don’t mind and talk about myself in the first person.

I have been focusing my attention on projects and businesses quite a bit. The best way to retain knowledge is to actually use it and then teach it. You can read a thousand articles about investing, but does that make you a better investor?

In theory yes, but it’s too bad that we live in a reality where this is not always the case. Yes, you want to know everything you can, especially when it comes to your fiscal matters. But there is a point where you have to say, “Okay, I have read through these articles, or books, or whatever, and now it is time to put that information to use.”

(Continue reading this article…)

The strongest values of a successful person may surprise you—the thing that matters most isn’t the amount of stuff or the abundance of wealth associated to their names. A truly successful person knows what her money can buy, yet she’s capable of passing up on most of the cluttersome stuff.

These people don’t focus their time on having the latest fashion or gizmos. Their focus lies somewhere else. Their greatest values are:
1. personal integrity: successful people believe in themselves, and they don’t surrender to the ideas that others think they should hold. They stand true to themselves. They stand truthful to others.
2. discovery: they’ll keep on learning—not only from texts, but from life. Trying something new seems natural. Attending lectures, cultural events, and fundraisers seem natural and intriguing. They go at it with an open mind.
3. relationships: a successful person isn’t out there on his or her own. These people have a strong support system of friends and family. They encourage successful people to grow, and friends and family make successful people laugh. On the flip, friends and family are also there when her life’s not as rosy.

We write about money, talk about money, and think about money on Aridni. You have to remember your reason for this cash focus—security, pleasure, freedom, opportunity. Yeah, every successful person seeks out more money. But don’t lose everything else in exchange for money. Follow these morals to gain some sense of pride in your achievement. It’s a support system capable of taking you anywhere.

Now despite the negative sounding title, that doesn’t imply that the actual message of this article is going to be so. In fact, it’s simply cut off to abruptly. Instead of using this as a definitive statement or as it’s written above as a pointed question with apparently with some sort of hidden message, instead take it as incomplete.

Right now if I opened up an operating room (all legal issues aside for the purpose of this example =P ) it would only be a matter of time before I realized, “Hey! I don’t know anything about surgery!”

It would be unethical for me to book people in and begin cutting them up without the proper training and a complete understanding of what I am doing. So from this point I have two options to complete my sentence.

Have you ever considered that you are not good enough…

Yet? – Taking this route would mean training, studying, and practice. In the example above we’re going to be doing some serious time to get through med school and becoming certified. Many times it could be something much simpler. Reading some material before a meeting, organizing your thoughts, researching some potential investments, or otherwise teaching yourself something new could be all it takes.

But someone else is? – In the business of operating on people, I am not qualified in any means. I haven’t been trained, certified, or for that matter have the slightest clue what I would be doing with that scalpel. Now what If I went out and found some young doctor who is still trying to pay off his student loans and would love to come operate at my place. I’m sure that he would do a heck of a lot better of a job operating than I would!

Of course most new companies can’t afford to hire specialists and me saying “GO HIRE DOCTORS!” isn’t really helping anybody’s cause. (aside from the doctors that is!) But I’m sure you know of someone who is better at a particular task than you are. Can you ask them for advice? Note that you’re not asking them to complete the project, but simply for their input. Of course this doesn’t always work out so well, as in the case of my operating room example! “Hey Mark, its Todd here. If I was performing an apadextrodomy and I nick the bi-lateral vein and blood is shooting everywhere, what would I do?”

As you can see there it would make sense to not get in over your head, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be ambitious and strive to make you big ideas turn into something real!

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go meet with a programmer who is better at it than I am.

A lot of people look at financial websites and scoff, figuring we have nothing but dollar signs in our eyes. Is that scenario really the case? How do you feel about the thought of having more money than you need? Are you thrilled? Are you disgusted?

To me, the idea of accumulating more money than I need today means that I can do more and give more in the future. What about you? If you told someone, “My goal is to be wealthy,” do you have a reason? What would people think of your goal?

A lot of finance blogs talk about ways to cheat the system. I used to love to read a particular blog… then the author found a way to register for an online banking account multiple times with his same information. He thought he struck gold; every time he registered for a new account, he got a $50 gift card to his favorite store. Ideas like this, and it’s no wonder people scoff. At Aridni, we don’t believe in these strategies. If you want to make money, we think you should find a way that enriches people.

Todd and I grew up in a mining town. The city started off as an underground mining hayday. Then the mine owners found a way to extract minerals at less expense and more profit—strip mining. Strip mines continue to operate today, and the northern half of the town looks uglier than sin. I can barely stand to look to the north. Todd and I have seen what greed can do, how it can damage a society and stain our environment.

If you feel good about your money behaviors, then earning more money can enhance your feelings and spread a positive experience to others. Is it wrong to want to be a wealthy person? I don’t know—how are you getting that wealth?

As human beings, I think we hold a natural ability for intelligence. Yet by going to work every day for someone else, the ability to express and explore some of that intelligence becomes hindered. Do you ever feel like a yes man? You think of these great ideas to multiple productivity or cut back expenses… yet the ideas are so radically different than current methods that everyone laughs at you. The method your boss implements works just fine—why would they switch?

You eventually become conditioned to speak up only when you’re told to speak up. Part of your ambition starts to die. Didn’t education challenge us to do otherwise? To question theories and procedures? When you step into the workplace, I think you often make the choice to settle for a potential that’s less than what you are capable of achieving, which is always easier than taking a risk.

What if the boss were you?

In order to survive, you cannot be a yes man and be self-employed. So if you’re tired of being scoffed at, why not become the boss of your own ideas? You’d be able to utilize the intellectual capabilities within you to further your business and ideally, your profits. I’ve read a lot about companies that devote a specific amount of time each year to job development and training. Other companies give employees time to tinker with their own ideas during a specific portion of the week. I think that these environments motivate an employee. Unfortunately, I doubt that you (like me) have snagged such a situation.

I truly believe that the ultimate form of satisfaction may very well come from self-employment. Know any self-employed person who says, “Damn, I miss working in bureaucracy!”? E-mail me immediately if you find such a person because I’m not sure if they exist.

A self-employed person isn’t letting her fears overpower her. The boss isn’t altering her priorities or her satisfaction in the day.

Being self-employed—how to start

You can read gobs of personal finance and wealth books—I did that. You can major in business—I did that. But you know what? None of those experiences taught me how to foster the start-up skills. Nowhere did I learn how to build an idea.

Most of us aren’t in a situation that would allow us to quit our jobs and start anew. The key is ease. I recently wrote about my goal to add $400 to my monthly income–$400 that I earn working for myself. If you don’t know what type of business you want to run, just as I don’t, I think that a financial goal is the only other way to start thinking about how to get going.

I used to listen to people tell stories about missing the beach, so I’d share a memory of when I was on the beach. Now I’m thinking—what can I do to bring the beach to Montana? I don’t mean to literally scoop the shore up… but could I invent a product or opportunity to bring the beach or memories of the beach? My mind starts to buzz, and I forget about my houseguests.

The truth is that I know I can obtain that $400/month. I’ll be sharing ideas—the ideas missed in books and class—that show how to foster that million-dollar idea.

You can’t pretend to be content working from 9 to 5 and letting your ideas be the topic of scoffers. This situation isn’t the life experience that you desire. It’s easier to pretend that your situation is acceptable so that you can avoid the challenge of charging at the situation you really want for yourself. You can have whatever you want. You wouldn’t be reading Aridni if you didn’t want something more. Now is the time to give in to desires, not the fears.